also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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