She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
