K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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