Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
