i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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