I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
