why do cheetos always look like penises
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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