Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
