I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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