anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
