Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
