honey bunches of taint.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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