how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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