so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
