How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Congratulations! We have a period
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
