He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
