After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We got so high we made milksteak
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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