just come out here and I will go home with you...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
