I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
