WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
