Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
