If i come over, it means nothing
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
