the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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