We're facebook friends in real life
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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