Betty ford says i'm here all night
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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