Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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