Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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