I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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