I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
