She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sorry my hands just texted you
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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