In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
