True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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