Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
this is an emotional support booty call
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
