Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
