2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
