I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
