I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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