so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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