Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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