No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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