Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
