Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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