Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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