I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
