??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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