I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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