Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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