Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
