Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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