It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My vagina is officially offended.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
