How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
