5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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